FPF#1
I have come to a stark realization. Being over forty is amazing. There are many reasons why I say this not the least of which is because at 40 your “I don’t give a sh** meter” seems to peg out. I know it has for me. My regard for the opinion of others has never been lower. My need for others to accept my opinions has never been lower. This is a very good thing. Secondly, post 40, I’m a much better decision maker. Think about something from your 20’s or 30’s that send you into a tailspin. Would you react the same way post 4-0? I have such a story.
I was 28 years old and had just purchased my first company. It was a real estate firm in Tyler, TX. With the firm came the office building that housed said firm. One day I had to head to my hometown of Sulphur Springs to visit my banker. After our meeting I invited my Dad to lunch. During lunch my phone rings and it’s my receptionist. She says Oncor, the electric delivery company is there to turn off my power. There was no warning no nothing. You see apparently protocol states that if a commercial building changes hands the power must be cut off, the building inspected and then the power is turned on in the new owner’s name.
I freaked out. I seriously thought I might have a heart attack. I was a mess. After much begging and pleading and calling the one guy at Oncor I knew, I was able to get a stay of electric termination. Fast forward to today. I’m 43. If I received that call today sure I’d be inconvenienced and I would definitely try to convince the guy to leave the power on. However, I would not lose my preverbal..well you know. Worst case I’d say, “Ok fine. I’d tell the receptionist to send people home and leave a note on the door. The issue would eventually work itself out.
This is a major victory for those of us 40 and over. We’ve seen so many of life’s episodes we know how most of them end. We don’t have to freak out like we once did. Whether it’s a financial setback, an illness, a business problem, you name it we’ve probably seen some version of it. Even if we haven’t we’ve dealt with enough breathtaking, earth shattering moments that we are better conditioned to handle them now.
We still have a lot of life to live, too. There’s something very appealing about knowing I have the same amount of time left to go in my professional career that I’ve exhausted so far. It’s like a do over with instructions, a cheat sheet and lots of wisdom. As such I want to do my next 20-30 years of work life (although I plan to always work) much better. Being over 40 makes me much more aware of what really matters in life. I now value experiences over material items. I realize while my parents screwed up a lot growing up they actually did the best they could and I have more grace for them than ever. I also appreciate in a way never before the fact they won’t always be around so I cherish our family gatherings more than ever. I have an amazing family and it’s taken me years to truly appreciate it. If you need some encouragement on making these years with Mom and Dad or other loved ones matter, may I suggest this amazingly illustrative article by Tim Urban.
I’m much more selective with what I read, who I listen to, who I hang out with what I watch, what I say, what I do with my time, what I eat, when I eat. I firmly believe there are certain things you can only develop in life by being on this earth a certain number of years. I think 40 is magical because we are still relatively physically fit with much more wisdom under our belt. That’s a very powerful combination.
This epiphany comes at a time when I am coming out of a major depression. I don’t feel like I’ve achieved a fraction of what I thought I would by 43. I don’t have the job I want. I don’t have the money I want. My oldest daughter is about to go off to college with my youngest leaving the following year. I’m divorced. I had come to feel like a complete loser. Mind you I’m a guy who has lived a pretty colorful life. I’ve owned multiple businesses, been and elected official, run for Congress, traveled to the Far East, hiked the Himalayas, been to the Beijing Olympics, received an MBA and basically kept from having a “real job” for nearly 20 years. However I was miserable.
Then it occurred to me one day to ask myself some questions. I will ask you the same ones. How’s your health? I’m in exactly the same shape I was if not better than I was when I was 30. That’s 10 years without a loss of so much as a step. How’s your head? As I explained earlier mine is much wiser, more agile and more methodical. I’m naturally more stoic thus slower to react as a result of having seen so many experiences unfold. How’s your network? Chances are you know more people, quality people, than you’ve ever known at any other point in your life. This allows you to be very deliberate in who you hang out with and share the journey with. Remember we are the average of the 5 people we hang out with most so choose your five with great care.
All this gave me a great deal of encouragement. It’s why I started this blog. I want to be a reminder to you and myself that just because we are over 40 doesn’t mean we are halfway finished with life. Whatever we haven’t done that we want to we still have time to do it. They say 40 is the new 30. I think that’s horse crap. Math is still math and 40 is still 40. However, the world has changed. Social media and the like have leveled the playing field for communication and commerce. If you are willing to embrace this new hyper connected world unfolding before our eyes it needn’t matter if your 25 or 45 it’s yours. Take it!
Welcome to the Forty plus Fantastic blog. I hope it will encourage you to keep dreaming, start over, put the pedal to the metal and take comfort in the fact we are in the greatest years of our lives. Now let’s crush it.
Forty Plus Fantastic 